When you’re late do you explain yourself?
Are you used to explain yourself for your mistakes?
Are you used to explain your decisions?
Explaining yourself too much makes you appear weak and insecure of your position and your actions and furthermore you’re acting like you owe an explanation to the person you’re talking to while you don’t.
You Don’t Owe Them an Explanation
If you make a decision, whatever it is, you have to accept the consequences of your choice and take responsibility for what will be the impacts that your choice will generate.
For example, if someone else tries to sell you something and you’re not interested in the purchase.. That’s fine! You say no and the seller has to accept your no because you are not interested and your no is a N O, you don’t need to explain why you refused.
If you explain your refusal the salesman will walk over your explanation trying to demonstrate that the arguments you have exposed don’t satisfy the circumstance, but maybe you just have invented some excuses you’re not so convinced to justify your response to don’t make bad your interlocutor.. And all you do have obtained is not getting rid of his proposal but rather making his position one step forward.
It’s not other people business why you made that decision.
Next time you’re late don’t explain yourself, doing this you’re making excuses and nobody likes excuses, it’s just enough you arrived late, you don’t need to say you had to get gas or you found traffic in the street or you have been stolen by aliens or you were fighting a monster or you were watching anime.
Take Responsibility For Your Actions
One aspect you should consider in order to stop to justify what you do is that acting in this way you’re going to lose respect for yourself: you’re weakening your position in your own mind implicitly admitting yourself you don’t have the confidence to say yes or no pushing yourself even further beyond to find again, the next time, explanations for the actions you will take.
Ask yourself how do you know this is the best decision for you and meditate about what are the motivations which made you convinced of that choice: Do they need to be explained to someone else?
When you will find again yourself giving explanations give you a space or call a timeout and immediately ask yourself why are you getting defensive, why do you feel the need to justify your behavior and remember yourself you don’t need their approval to be right in your decisions.
Practice your responses and evaluate how they fit in particular circumstances – once you will start to practice this, you will notice a boost in your confidence in general and particular in your decision making.
I do have struggled with this problem and I sometimes still struggle with it now.
It’s not so easy to pass from justify everything to don’t justify nothing at all – it requires practice and time to think and realize how can you avoid this behavior for a particular situation without being closed on yourself.
I would really appreciate if you share your opinion about it in the comment section below, I’ll respond soon!
See you next Sunday with my next Article, best regards, your Italian friend Marco 🙂
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